Hearts all over the world tonight

So I tried to imagine a life without you this morning. Void of all, and it scared me; the loneliness that compelled. While being the wall I usually am, I inevitably sub-consciously sang the song of 2 years ago when eyes met, hearts boomed and tears told. I figured life without you again, would be cold. So you tickled my fuzzy red eyes, and sufficed my soul of love. You changed the typical impairment into something really good. I closed my scrapbook, and forced a smile. Life without you, would drive me senile.

awkward pain.

I hate it when you stare.
I hate it when you look away.
I hate it when you care.
I hate it when you think I'm okay.
I hate it.

LAURA EVA WONG KAI LIN.
Mine-
hands off.
:)

Chasing pavements

When the sun is high in the afternoon sky

you can always find something to do

But from dusk till dawn, as the clock ticks on

something happens to you

In the wee small hours of the morning

While the whole world is fast asleep

You lie awake and think of the boy

and never ever think of counting sheep

When your lonely heart has learnt its lesson

you'd be his only if he'd call

In the wee small hours of the morning,

that's when you miss him most of all.

Where icicles melt and summerbreeze drowns

At the beach with Sammies, Josh and Fran

swimming, talking and running in the sand

burning our brains and freezing our souls with the dizzy company.

Dare you to move.

the bestfriend from wonderland. overload of spastic and mindless.

I'm in love with you, but you are not with me.

Starbucks with Franchie and Joshes tonight

Fran got high on her javachip, and me on latte

caffeine drives us insane.

I found out that Ahtao's english name is Stanley.

Hello, Stanley.

haheeho.

the 25th of nothing.

I love lauraeva and she's my girlfriend.

she writes me nice letters and listens to my nonsense

"wo ai ni.."

it's written on my foolscap, file and exercise book.

I know you love me, well I miss you too.

Hallelujah

You're a cynical sot in the head, a funny little caterpillar's fate

Slightly impaired; hate's propaganda can't be that bad

and I still don't know you today.

Well I've seen papertowel seahorses and rubbed ears with Vegas

but I'm still here, still tying my laces.

I was utterly bored and random, reading Animal Farm by George Orwell.

About communism, propaganda and the Soviet Union

I want to murder Napoleon, he's such a pain the ass.

I need peripheral vision, then I wouldn't need to look at the trafficlights to cross the road

or look at my shoes while drawing on them.

or look at the sandwich when making crumbs.

Life would be so much better with peripheral vision, wouldn't it?

There's a pause between the sounds, but you don't notice it unless you listen

it's as fast as a thought flickering into your mind

as fast as a heartbeat, the darkness between blinks

and that pause is worth savouring, because the world will become complicated again.

geek.

You loser.

Stop spreading those rumours
Jealous, conniving, bitch. Stop.
You know they're untrue, while you've got nothing better to do.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYDIA.
Afterall, you're my wonderwall :D
Tried to smash cake in her face today, but ended up jabbing it into her eye.
Some in her eye, some on Lauraeva and some in my hair.


I fought you for so long,should have let you in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was to save my own skin
but so were you,
so were you.

If I Could Fall Into The Sky

My head is starting to shut down on my senses,
there are puddles where my eyes used to be.
I can't, just can't.

Another place to fall

Are you proud?
To have founded a brand new behaviour
With hatred and hurt as your saviour
But nobody's choosing to follow
So you choke back the tears as you swallow

Affection is yours if you ask
First you must take off that mask
When your back's turned I've decided
You'll throw it away like I did.

So find yourself another place to fall
Find yourself against another brick wall
See yourself as a fallen angel
Well, I don't see any holes in the road but you
Find another place to fall.

-KT Tunstall

without You

Without you, the ground thaws
the rain falls
the grass grows
Without you, the seeds root
the flowers bloom
the children play
The stars gleam
the poets dream
the eagles fly
without you
The Earth turns
the sun burns
but I die, without you.
Without you, the breeze warms
the girl smiles
the cloud moves
Without you, the tides change
the boys run
the oceans crash
The crowds roar
the days soar
the babies cry
The moon glows
the river flows
but I die without you
The world revives
colors renew
but I know blue
only blue
lonely blue
Without you
Without you, the hand gropes
the ear hears
the pulse beats
Without you, the eyes gaze
the legs walk
the lungs breathe
The mind churns
the heart yearns
the tears dry
without you
Life goes on
but I'm gone
'cause I die-
without you

Wonderment:

I crave for you.
and my hunger is irrepressible; and
it is this. this aching after you
that makes you so glorious, so revolting, so lacking.
maybe it is that of fear;
of a mistake once affected.
once bitten,
twice shy.
I was chewed on five times.
faults linger like ghosts
caught on negatives;
was this the bed I chose to make?
uncertain, wavering
shadows that clout a
candid smile.
and yet;
my eyes delude me
you are so charming.
kiss the skies-
as they let in
you- your brilliance seduction
that turns my mind; a raging fashion
into a frenzied passion.
forgive me.
you are forgiven,
but one
always forgets
to erase
the scar
of a wound
etched-
on
the
bone.

siow.

the boy who tickles me endless and make my insides knot.

Star-ben-ucks.

Our night started at the homeclub.
Happy sunshine goodness to the world. Today I hung with a certain species named
Ben Loh.

At starbucks in Central, drinking coffee and contemplating the existence of aliens.
I won't try explaining the drawings to you, trust me you'd rather be oblivious.
Some guy walked past Ben and I and took a photo of us through the glass.
and then benny started being a flower. I need a video. It's hilarious.
Found a shop which sold film for my lomo like after combing Clarke Quay
Ben- Come come, let me help you.
(fiddles with camera and film)
Me- Do you know how to..
Ben-No.
(snatches back camera)
Me- Here hold this.
(Gives him film roll holder)
Me- Don't throw-
Ben- WOOPS.
And headbanged in the train home where we attracted ALOT of attention.
He did.
Spasms.
The Fire Fight.
"JOSH IS SOO FUCKING HOT."
haheeeeeho.

See you in the next life Benny.

I'm sick at home with unconditioned hair and bloodshot eyes. Not a sight. Honest.

Bonkers "I want to be a ninja when I grow up"
Me "I want to be a refrigerator when I grow electricity"

explosion.

I'm sick of fighting and mouldy walls.
I'm sick of fighting and mouldy walls.
I'm sick of fighting and mouldy walls.
I'm sick of fighting and mouldy walls.
I'm sick of fighting and mouldy walls.

Why are you so fucking insensitive?
Why.

note to self. Please note that tomorrow is Wednesday.
And there is drama elective on Wednesday.
note note to self. Do not burst out laughing in math class again.
Because you will get detention for it. You stupidhead.
You're fucking insensitive, but I'm relatively the same-
maybe that's why we piss each other off to the milkyway everytime we try to talk.

Bennnnzo- strepsils.
Me- I'll rumage my fridge later.
Bennnnzo- I'm still in Bukit Gombak.
Me- Wtf you doing on the other end of the universe?

During school days, my planetary-adventures range from the secluded patch next to Changi Prison
to the proximities of Tanjong Katong Road. Anything out of that, is the other end of the universe.
Unexplored.
Like Bukit Gombak.

I have no life. I have no life. I have no life.
School-tuition-drama-tuition-school.
I am moody.
Because my mother is asking me what I'm doing on the computer again.
"LAUURRAAAA. WHAT YOU DOING ON THE COMPUTER! NOT STUDYING AH?"
"It's the 2nd weeek of school mom. If I study, I'm a nut."
"YOUR TESTS ARE COMING."
"They are DIAGNOSTIC TESTS."
"HUH? WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THE COMPUTER?!!"
"blogging."
"YOU SURE????"

No mom, I'm searching suicide websites. Ugh.
And PLEASE tell me how the flying cows do you relate math to divorce, Mr Yap?

I'm sorry if there's this lack of me. School, schoolwork and never-ending projectwork. I hate it as much as you do. I'm juggling that, conflict and trying to survive the monsoons. But it's no excuse, I promised to be there, and I will be. Give me time, and I'll show you the worth of what you put your bet on.

Please don't walk away. I'll die.

I seem to blog alot more when I'm moody. Crappy-ho people.

Tuesday Telly

It's that dream again.
I'm running.
Running so fast.
Up steps, grey faded steps
Someone, something is catching up on me
3rd flight, 4th flight, 16th.
I'm panting, breath is running low, my chest tightens.
My heart's telling me to stop, brain's pushing me on
I can't seem to stop. I can't.
It will get me.
Where... where are you?

I'm losing my breath.

Up another 3 flights, up and up.
Where does it end?
I reach a corridor. It's a long way down
my only escape.
Run, run.
Faster Laura.
It's catching up on you.
Inches.
There's a door, a gated door.

I'm losing my mind.

The Door opens, I see you.
Open the gate, open the gate
It's coming.
What's coming?
It.
I'm screaming, still running.
Almost there, falling.
Open the gate, open the gate!
why are you just starring?
I wrench at the gate, it won't swing.
Help...Me...
I'm begging.
A metre.
Inch.
Suffocating
I fall into a dizzy frenzy, the last image of you.
Crying.
-

Get lost in October.

Drawback, like reminiscence. The way the music flows over your mind.Sayonara Supergirl, Amateur Takes Control. How the little details of life you forgot suddenly shoot back like darts thrown on a dartboard. and how he's not the least bit like you. I'll tie my shoelaces together and befriend a dope. I'm tired of tricking in the night, but you're a memory etched on the headboard. It's time to cross over, leave the boy from April behind. Pin up new pictures on my white walls with patches of mould from last year's screamdown. Fifteen missed calls, it's your turn to cry.

I'm feeling murderous.

"A human environment is created by inter-action between humans..."
"whaaaattxx inter-action yoooz"
"interaction la."
"pwjshgdtssdhgfrydhnej."
HAHEEHOO, I can't get over my geography teacher.

Laura, you're murder on Monday.

Hello, I'm 4.

Hello boy, just turned 16. And I want, to say before it gets too late.
Don't-
be that fool again, and get caught in my mess.
You've been through it twice, I think that's just about enough
shouldn't, just shouldn't wait for my call;
because I'll tell you plainly, blatantly-
you might as well fall in love with a wall.
Why hello, I'm 4.

The 'xie xie ni's

I had to edit. In no particular order.

Much love to;

Colleen Chia: I never learnt your chinese name throughout the whole of this year.
And even though we aren't BFFs, I still love our walks around Singapore with our
camera, complaining about mommy's and headbanging to Caracal :)

Lauraevawong: You've been a fantabulous friend throughout, sticking by me and
making me laugh by your cute cute (even if you refuse to admit) drama skills during
Drama Elective. You actually made DnT and home Ec tolerable. I'm sorry I had to abandon
you but drama elective is my calling. Free periods are gonna suck without you. Honest :D
You have to admit, our science lab periods were funner than science can ever be though
we really SUCK at science experiments and making hypothesises.

Maryanne Kwan: The bestfriend, soul sistaaa, fellow dramatist and absolute nuthead.
You've been there for me, to hear me go on and on about the pathetic times in my life.
When I felt the downest points this year, you took me on retail therapy and made it all
better. I can't wait to be in Arts In Motion with you dear, can't wait.

Lydia Tan: Xinrui. Friend for 12 years. Even though our differences got the better of us
sometimes, you still were and are there for me. The best days of my life were the days
spent around the pool at 10am during holidays and playing pretend. Cheers to more
years honey.

Kenny Aidey Foo: KAFOO. My fairytale consultant and idiot of the century. Thanks for
the good times, and keeping me believing in fairytales though most people asked me to
snap out of it. I know you never had it easy, but you still are the most peculiar boy I've
ever met. Stardust, misery business, jenny and almost everything reminds me of you.
Good on ya buddy :)

Anton Rozario: Ton! HAHEEHO. Where do I begin? Well, thanks for listening to me almost
every night going on and on about every single crap in the world. And even though recently
most of our messages include "Fuck you" and "Walk out lah", I really appreciate that you've
been there, I know I can be a difficult friend sometimes but you still stuck through!
I still owe you 1o bucks, because you know me best :D

Wesley Thad Kow: First of all, stop pulling my hair! And then comes the thank you's for the
crazy reckless drives home screaming to high school musical and making RG fun. You've
knocked some sense into me at times and even if I'm annoyed, it still works. Thanks a bunch Wes :)
And you seem to have a thing for TKGS girlies yo.

Nicole Cumming: NIK. The bestfriend since primary 3, it's been 5 long years now babe. Thanks
for listening to me, and even though you wake me up at 4am on certain nights because you can't
sleep and I end up getting a fever the next day, I still really love talking to you and laughing at
your utter dumbness. Kidding :P I love you tons.

Fran: FRANNY. Bimbo friend, best person to be with when heartbroken and extremely nice hugs.
Thanks for everything this year, hanging out was fun and painting toenails rainbow colours were
awesome :) Much much love.

And even if most don't think so, here's a thanks to someone who really made life wonderful for awhile-

Matthew Chen: We got wayy back, way back to 8 years ago at Aunty Daisy's cathecism class. Well,
we found each other again in October 06 and you were there all the way to be the bestfriend that
unfortunately, is gone now. Our friendship's dust but the good times were great while they lasted.
I don't know if you're reading this but oh well. I can't deny I miss you, the times we'd talk on the phone
for hours, I miss the bestfriend I had in you, the memories, the love I found. Find yourself Matt. The
Matt I knew from October 2 years ago, still exists in you. But goodbye was weeks ago, and I just hope
you know, you made 2007 interesting- friendship, love and heartbreak. All etched in memory :)

AND TO ALL THOSE WHOSE NAMES AREN'T HERE. IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE ANY LESS SPECIAL.
THESE PEOPLE, MADE THE MOST AMOUNT OF IMPACT IN MY LIFE, BUT I STILL TREAUSRE
EACH AND EVERY MOMENT SHARED WITH ANYONE IN 2007. THANKS MANY MANY :D

So long sweet summer.

Explosions in the sky, and the past year is transfixed in only memory and words
the year I learnt, lost and loved. The year that has become last year,
taking the place of the previous. Like an adventure, I'll breathe in zero-eight,
waiting for the next cue to start living and stop existing in the nude earth with the gummybabies.
New year's was spent at Collyer Quay amongst thousands of photographers with their
tripods, DSLRs and these neon lights which reminded me techno.
When 12 arrived, the sky was lit up with dazzles of sparkling fireworks against the city skyline
The city metamorphosed as the minutes passed, quietly offering a kaleidescope of spectacular
sight after spectacular sight. The fire in the sky turned the ivory towers, white in the day, flaming red,
bloodying the mundane workman's architecture. But as the sparks fell, letting the sulphuric smoke
settle on the surroundings, the city turned back into it's strange blue, like ancient Atlantis.
My new year's was breathtaking. Happy hoots everyone.